Things the French travel office does not want you to know

Summer is around the corner. In 2011, an estimated 77 to 79 million tourists will visit France. Once again, my homeland (the size of Texas, with a population of 65 million) will be the most visited country in the world. As always, Paris, Normandy, the French Riviera and Provence will be American tourists’ favorite destinations.

A native French teacher specializing in travel preparation for the last 10 years, I have met many Americans and helped them plan their trips to Europe. My two most popular programs are travel workshops I teach quarterly at a community college in the Seattle area. Students and I spend a whole day together as I guide them through a fast-paced French survival course in the morning, followed by a three-hour orientation tour of Paris in the afternoon. Even though we focus on learning essential travel expressions, and discovering major Parisian neighborhoods and attractions, we also discuss differences between the French and the American cultures. By the time we wrap up at the end of a busy day, they know what to say, when to say it, and why. They also know what to expect and adjust their attitude accordingly.

An informative 6-hour fun-packed program (not for the faint of heart!)

My students are hard-working: Take a look at this well-annotated notebook

I am always impressed by the students’ motivation, open-mindedness, and their genuine desire to understand the French. I love that some of them keep in touch and send me feedback (ranging from positive to enthusiastic) after their trip, telling me anecdotes, or explaining how they were able to use some information we discussed in class.

One of the things I am happiest about: When they return, most rave about the French and their hospitality.

This is a far cry from traditional clichés commonly heard on this side of the proverbial pond. You know the ones. “The French are rude and arrogant.” “The French hate the Americans.”

I have not read this book and won't bother.
The title says it all: Twitch, twitch, twitch...

I am no fool and I know that these clichés are part of the reasons my students originally signed up for the travel workshops. They are a bit scared, you see. What if the mean French don’t like them? What if they make their life hell once they land in Paris? A few people people have actually asked me –seriously- “Would it be a good idea to say we are Canadians?”

When I hear this, I realize how much damage has already been done by the media (I am looking at you, Fox News), and TV personalities (shame on you, Howard Stern, Glenn Beck, Dennis Miller, and Jay Leno, to name just a few.)

Let me interject here. I hate to debunk some die-hard myths about the French, but after 15 years spent in this country and annual trips back to my homeland I can declare with absolute certainty:

1. No, the French do not hate the Americans. They may have disagreed with American policies over the years, but many are sophisticated enough to make a difference between the American government and American citizens.

2. There is less American bashing in France than French bashing in the United States—a lot less in fact. You may quote this “cheese-eating surrender monkey” any time.

The French as cowards ( a familiar theme)

This campaign originated in the U.S. Congress in 2003

It is never a good thing for an American politician
to be associated with the French

Did his remote French roots cost John Kerry the presidential election?

Let’s not start a war here, or even a debate. This is just a fun little blog, after all.

In the spirit of fraternité (fraternity,) as listed in the French Republic motto, “Liberté, équalité, fraternité” (liberty, equality, fraternity,) I decided to help all Americans who have decided to visit France this summer, especially those who have never taken my travel workshops, les pauvres.

First I will start with common mistakes made by first time visitors.

1. Not learning basic French greetings. The single most important word in the French language is a greeting. “Bonjour.” Read more about this essential word here.

2. Assuming everyone in France (and in Europe) speaks English. Some people may. The question is: “How do I make them want to?” My students know the answer to that question and usually don’t have problems communicating with locals during their travels.

I bet Jay Leno would starve rather than ordering in that restaurant!

3. Being interested in discovering France while still expecting French culture to be similar to American culture. Hint: It is not.

4. Visiting Paris and thinking all French people are “like Parisians.” In fact, a lot of blogs written by American or British expatriates living in Paris start with: “The French…” As a [French] Southerner married to a Parisian, I can assure you Parisians are a very different breed. After all, would Americans consider New Yorkers to be representative of all Americans?

Parisians...

5. Trying to cover too much ground in too little time. Understandable, since most American visitors do not enjoy the generous French paid vacation system. Still, by trying to do too much, they rush and expect everyone around them to rush also. Hint: French time and American time are two very different things. The former is more elastic if you will. In France, everything takes time.

So, to avoid any further aggravation, frustration, or cultural misunderstandings, here is French Girl’s exclusive quick-fix list of things Americans visitors will not be able to see, or do [anymore] while in France. May I respectfully suggest first time visitors read it carefully before booking that trip to Europe and adjust their expectations accordingly?

Et voilà, broken down in four categories. This is the list the French Tourist Office does not want American tourists to read.

Mon Dieu!

Food/Eating out: Things American visitors will not see or do while in France

Eating Mexican food. Eating pumpkin-based dishes. Eating an American style breakfast outside of Paris. Drinking drip coffee with your meal. Ordering bottom-less drinks. Over-tipping at the restaurant (a 15% service charge is always included.) Rushing through a meal (French waiters won’t be rushed.) Eating large portions, especially when ordering an “entrée” (a first course in France.) Asking for a doggie bag (a major faux-pas.) Asking for split checks. Calling the waiter/waitress by their first name (or calling anyone by their first name unless they request it first). Having dinner before 8:00pm (restaurant will be closed until then.) Being interrupted by other people’s loud voices in restaurants and public places. Being interrupted by your waiter (he will only come to you if it’s absolutely necessary.) Seeing your check magically appear on the table without having to ask for it (see previous note.)

For further reading about eating out in France, read another post here. To learn more about ordering coffee, click here. Everything you have ever wanted to know about French waiters is here.

Don't panic. Just get a good phrasebook!

Dealing with French waiters: a rite of passage for first-time visitors

Shopping/Customer service: Things American visitors will not see or do while in France.

Expecting to be right as a customer (in France, customers are always wrong.) Getting a refund in boutiques if you do not have 1. A receipt 2. An interpreter 3. A very good excuse (you might still get an exchange, or if all else fails, a famous French shrug.) Entering a boutique without greeting the sales staff first (“Bonjour”.) Pulling things off the shelves. Letting your kids pull things off the shelves. Figuring out the sales tax (prices are net. Value Added Tax is already included.) Expecting stores to go on sale once a week/month (sales are government-regulated and happen only twice a year.) Waiting for the check-out girl to pack your groceries at the supermarket (she won’t, not for you, not for her French customers either.) Using ounces, pounds and fluid ounces when produce shopping or cooking (time to review that good old metric system, folks.) Shopping on Sundays, at lunchtime, or late in the evening outside of Paris.

The long awaited bi-annual sale

Driving: Things American visitors will not see or do while in France

Using a right turn on red (this could get you arrested, or worse, sent to the hospital.) Riding on free freeways (toll roads everywhere.) Eating while driving in cars (the French prefer to eat sitting down at a table.) Using a cup holder (there are none.) Parking in front of a store or restaurant (think parallel parking and walking instead.) Driving pick up trucks or SUVs (there are none.) Dealing with 16-year old drivers (18 is the legal age in France). Reading bumper stickers detailing the other owner's political views, religious beliefs, and personal information (cars zoom by too fast to read stickers anyway.) Using drive-through restaurants, coffee shops, banks, dry cleaners (there are none. Think parallel parking and walking.)

Priorité à droite: All traffic coming from the right has right of way

Accommodation (hotel/apartment rentals): Things American visitors will not see or do while in France.

Taking American space for granted [learn more about French space here.] Finding your hotel room on the 1^st floor where you expect it to be (the French 1^st floor is the American 2^nd floor and so on.) Enjoying large hotel rooms/bathrooms/beds (there are none outside of 4-star hotels.) Finding a bible in your hotel room. Living in houses with as many bedrooms as bathrooms. Systematically washing and drying clothing with an appliance (dryers are still a rare breed outside of major cities.) Expecting a wash cycle to last 20 minutes or a dryer cycle to last 45 minutes (appliances are on French time also.)

A French lavoir. Can you guess what this was used for not so long ago?

To some, all this may seem overwhelming. A “no-go clause.” That would be fine. The French (and the Europeans) visiting the U.S. for the first time may appear to be at an advantage. They have watched so many TV shows and American movies before coming over that they got to preview American life, but have they, really? Back in the early 1980s’ my grand-mother, who lived in a small town in Southern France, used to watch Dallas on TV. J.R., Sue Ellen, and the rest of the Ewing clan were fascinating to her. One day, she exclaimed: “Do all Americans immediately come back from work, rush to their living-room, and pour themselves a large glass of whiskey like J.R.?” I said I did not know but watched my first American host family closely the first time I visited (they did not, to my parents’ relief.) After that first summer in the United States, I learned a valuable lesson: There was a lot to learn from staying (and interacting) with natives.

During the 1980s this building was as famous as the White House

I am sure that even today, many Americans arrive in France expecting to see this:

Le béret et la baguette: This must be France!

Just as there are clichés about the French in America, there are die-hard stereotypes about Americans in Europe. We could discuss clichés, and the cultural misunderstandings they engender at length. There would be enough material to write a short series. Maybe another day. International travel is the cultural stereotype’s worst enemy, but international travel is best approached with an open mind, realistic expectations about other cultures, and some preparation. So keep traveling my friends. Keep visiting la Belle France. There will be friendly, and welcoming people. There will be some rude people. Some will speak English. Others won’t. France will surprise and puzzle you often, but I know you will have a wonderful time there.

Bon voyage les amis. Enjoy your summer travels.

One last word: The book below is a must-read by cross-cultural expert Polly Platt. There are a lot of good books out there, but Ms Platt has done more to dispel myths and misunderstandings between the French and the Americans than anyone I know. The best chapter deals with smiles, believe it or not. Why don't you give it a try?